42/100 Show up

So, I finally decided to try to shut up & write group in SF. I showered at the gym and missed two exits, and was so hungry and had to get some essentials from Walmart, but put everything aside so that I could carve out a time and write.

It was freezing earlier, but it became really hot from the sun. I am writing this while eating crispy chicken and some hot milk tea. There’s a thing I have for eating ice cream on cold days and eating hot things on sunny days.

I parked in front of a Chinese produce store in San Bruno, and bought some fruit and puffy rice snacks. Rice is healthy, right? I asked the lady if they would tow my car, and she said not on Sundays. I knew, but just had to make sure. This strip has only Chinese places, and people don’t talk much English here. There was one guy sitting in the back of his trunk praising Jesus.

I walked over to the taproom that we were supposed to meet in excitement, with a camera in hand. My battery cap is broken and I wanted a picture of a mother and daughter looking at the hanging Peking duck without them noticing, but my camera multi shutter was on and I sounded like a creepy paparazzi. I want to get serious about writing and photography, and it’s just a rough start. You can’t become good at something that you don’t try, right?

So, I arrive in front of a theater that was the resulting picture from the address, but the sign was very faint. The inside tables were all gone, and I kept walking to see if there was any door. Maybe they like meeting in the back room, or something. Something romantic about an abandoned building?

It was obviously closed. Aww. There were a lot of writers and photographer meetups near LA. Is this a sign to go there? What if I end up with more disappointments?

There are two things I can do:

  • work on building myself into who I want to be
  • Create my own community

I have been so busy juggling that I haven’t made any friends.

I remember the bumper sticker that said

“too ugly for LA, too dumb for NY”

Learning takes time. Making friends, relationships, building a career, becoming independent and finding your ideal all requires daily dedication.

Right now, my focus is to get the hang of not getting lost and shaken. To be not influenced easily, to stand firmly and build from where I stand.

Sometimes, what we want doesn’t play out as planned or even exists.

But find a friend to encourage you, to believe in you and to never let go of your hand. Become that friend.

_______________________________

I am now sweating harder than I was working out at the gym earlier from the food. I realized that when I used to workout in the old days, I just worked out to exhaust myself. Now, I have a bit of a plan and a set time limit. I am also listening to my body and finding out about my ankle injury. My muscles have become weaker from all the sitting and neglect, but I have the strength to get back up and keep going.

This time, I am on my own. Inspiration and motivation aside, there is no one to wake me up or tell me what to do or how to live. This freedom comes with its own weight. I have to work with my own budget, time, and responsibilities.

________________________

By the way, going to a boba place to get material for writing or inspiration is not really a good idea.

The only thing you hear is,

“I would like a _____”

“Cash or card?”

“Would you like to add boba to that?”

“Do you have a stamp card with us?”

Might get more material watching netflix, haha

Well, I will try to make the most out of this outing.

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