33/100 Winter Break

For this winter break, I went to Florida to see my parents. I was surprised at how much I have outgrown the comfort of being home. There was so much stress, and I went through a phase of emotional ups and downs..eventually leading to an existential crisis.

Now, the one thing that has changed is that there is always work to do in the background. There is less freedom when you make goals and have bills to pay. This doesn’t mean, however, that you give up on your interests.

I had given up on gym because there was always that was more “real” and regarded as a higher priority. Then, you realize after asking yourself, why am I doing this? For what? To always be stressed?

Last night and this morning I reviewd Python for interview questions for a research program at my old University. It would be for 10 hours a week as a volunteer to contribute to some human and computer interactions and perhaps practice more of my Python knowledge. After reviewing lists, classes, strings, methods…etc I went on Youtube and watched some funny interview questions then was led to a detailed video on Indie Game development.

Now, the some of the things that I have spent hundreds of hours consistently is playing Stardew Valley and going to the gym. That’s pretty much it. I also always thought about writing my own film scripts and having a fashion magazine that told stories of people around us. I am always looking for heartwarming stories and a little bit of magic.

Looking at all the “technical” skills I have to build such as spicing up the resume for a “job” which I need for “money” and so forth had put me in a cycle that made me feel empty. When I realized that I could work in parallel with my own interests to build something that I would never get sick of, my own “baby” using all of my interests in art, writing and health with a little application of the “developer” part of it, I found my peace again.

Home is where the heart is. I found my home, finally, after three weeks of returning home. I have an interview in 8 minutes, and of course being the person I am, I use up every minute before the “exam” to avoid the actual task.

Sidetracking could be a skill, too, as long as I show up on time. This time I will be facing the interviewee with a peace in mind, instead of acting as a stiff robot having an existential crisis.

Here’s to all the internships and “real” work to come! My personal projects will continue in the form of writing, coding, and learning about people and the hidden gems you create in life in relationships and personal achievement.

Don’t try to fight it all by yourself. You can still dream. You are not too far from the world you want to create and see for yourself.

Here’s to another great year. Something is cooking for this year, I don’t know what it will be, but the oven has preheated.

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