18/100 Music Scores

Recently started to play the piano again. Going through the sheet music of songs I want to play vs. the music that I can play reminded me of how I
want to be in AI vs. not being able to understand what the “cloud” is.

I got frustrated studying AWS, again. I went out the living room to play some depressing Chopin nocturnes, only realizing that Chopin expects you to have three extra fingers on the left and a separate beat for each hand. It will take months of continuous practice to nail the one nocturne, with hundreds to go.

Same with anything that you want to master, really.

I was told that if you aren’t going to be happy either way, might as well do something you enjoy and be unhappy.

Maybe mastering depressing songs will make something to look forward to everyday. A homeless watching the lady playing the piano everyday from afar may trade my spot any day. From a far, I have a roof over my head, food to eat next day and a piano. Up close is a person with the opportunity to be great but depressed because the reality does not meet expectations.

I might be too serious when I go into something. It’s okay to try things and not expect anything out of it. Maybe I was so focused on goals that I forgot about myself in the process. I am lost, but I have not yet failed.

I cannot say that I have succeeded, either.

Playing the first page of every song half-heartedly, or play a full song that I love, that gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Chopin nocturne op 9. Bodybuilding. AI research. These all take pain, long hours of dedicated work. Well, as long as I can wake up to coffee and sleep well,
I think I will be fine.



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